First Lady of Walmartians

Shame on you, Michelle Obama, for selling out -- again -- to the evil empire that is crippling the nation and chipping away at any goodness in the world. The White House announced that "First Lady Michelle Obama joined Walmart executives today to help launch the company’s Nutrition Charter, a groundbreaking new initiative that has the potential to have a transformative impact on the market place and help families across America put healthier, more affordable food on their tables." Even less appetizing are the *news* reports that rewrite this repulsive release without any mention of how this is another crime against our citizens. You'll need to read The Telegraph for anything more than a gratuitous endorsement masquerading as news: "The apparent contradiction between Sen Obama's political calculation to join the Wal-Mart-bashing lobby, and his wife's profitable role with a company that makes money from Wal-Mart, is being closely scrutinised by "opposition" research teams working for rival White House candidates, The Sunday Telegraph has learnt." For more on Obama's re-election to the board of Treehouse Foods, the Illinois-based union- and worker-hating pickles and peppers producer, click here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1551441/Obama-called-hypocrite-for-wifes-Wal-Mart-link.html

Walmartians aren't looking for "healthier" food. They consume processed crap in lieu of anything that resembles whole food. The socially conscious aren't going to trade down from their local farmer's market or Whole Foods to be fooled into believing they are saving money at the behemoth that sucks dry any semblance of humanity from the masses. The world's biggest retailer claims it is "reformulating thousands of everyday packaged food items by 2015 by reducing sodium 25 percent and added sugars 10 percent, and by removing all remaining industrially produced trans fats." Why is this poison loaded with so much sodium, sugar (no doubt mostly high fructose corn syrup) and trans fat to begin with? And why is it taking until 2015? Because the chemical concoctions on the shelves are forever fossilized in their processed state and "good" for years after they come off the production lines. Specifically, Walmart has vowed to "reduce sodium by 25 percent in a broad category of grocery items, including grain products, luncheon meats, salad dressings and frozen entrees." This death by diet campaign is acknowledging it doesn't stock whole grains but "grain products." Good luck finding lean protein at any price in this mecca of mock. There you'll find "luncheon meats." Luncheon meats? I guess that's what you serve with American cheese, a blend of milk, milk fats and solids, with other fats and whey protein concentrates. I'm too nauseous to even comment on the contents of the "salad dressings and frozen entrees." Walmart also promises to "reduce added sugars by 10 percent in dairy items, sauces and fruit drinks." Added sugars in "dairy items?" Want to commit to health Walmart? Don't sell diabetes causing "dairy items, sauces and fruit drinks" to human beings! Even fruit juice (just fruit without any of the fiber reduced to a "healthy" sugar) needs to be doled out in moderation. That something called "fruit drinks" is even legal is heinous. To round out the trinity of "reformulation," Walmart says it will "remove all remaining industrially produced trans fats (partially hydrogenated fats and oils) in all packaged food products." Thanks, Walmart, for introducing me to an even deeper, darker circle of dietary hell known as "industrially produced trans fats."

I dare doubters who still think I'm a snob to show me any evidence that even the slightest improvement in any packaged Walmart product will transform it into anything approaching healthy. Take a serving of Sam's Club frozen pizza. The store brand supreme pie packs 350 calories per serving. Sounds OK, right? That serving is a tenth of the pie, or 5.57 ounces. How many Walmartians really eat one slice? Let's be conservative and say a family of four shares the pie, with three slices doled out to dad, the biggest eater of the bunch. That means dad's scarfing down 1,050 calories, 48 grams of fat (24 saturated), 120 mg of cholesterol, 2,340 mg of sodium and 42 grams of sugar. And that's before the fruit drink. And what if mom, who's only eating two slices, decides to serve a healthy salad with store bought dressing? I'll spare you the staggering statistics.

Since I'm nowhere near a Walmart (one legitimate reason for paying astronomical rent) and I have vowed to never step foot in one, I can't give you a price comparison. But I assure you that you can find bulk items of whole foods like grains and legumes much cheaper at Whole Foods. I tried to search online for Walmart prices. Funny that a site search for "organic" in the grocery department yields just 10 results. Those items include tea, coffee, infant formula and diapers. What more do you need for a healthy, organic diet?

The press photos of the First Lady and Walmart President and CEO Bill Simon against a backdrop of super shiny peppers and tomatoes makes me squint (from the grotesque glossy veneer) and shudder. I challenge any Walmartian to monitor that produce pile, watch for any takers or any turnover of the shellacked racks.